Recovery!!!!!

Wow.. it's been a tough couple of weeks. I was having a real hard time post treatment recovering and getting strength back. I had a headache that wouldn't give up. Today is the first day I feel like I'm almost kind of 'back'. My head feels like a toothache. It hurts all of the time, but unless it's pressured I've been able to deal with it. I've stayed awake all day. I feel like shouting. I'm a big girl now :-) So that's a biggie.
We've been dealing with winter storms for the past week.. An ice/snow storm of a couple of inches of ice that wasn't too horrible, that was last Wednesday. We got things taken care of and we were okay. The wind hit along with the ice so none stayed on the power lines. Then it got cold, very cold. Friday we were supposed to get a 'dusting' of snow. It snowed all day, about 4". For Arkansans, that's a snow storm. Now they say we are supposed to get more. I don't know. Sunday we were supposed to have an inch, it rained. I haven't a clue what it's going to do tomorrow night. Rob will be home, we will get feed tomorrow. So we'll ride :-)
Not a whole bunch has really been going on here. I did get some molds for my soaps. And went through some of the soap in the back room and gave a bunch to the ladies at church. It was stuff that wasn't curing right and I want to make some to get ready for flea markets in the spring. And I want to play with more soap making to be honest. I am feeling better. Hallelujah.
Other news. My brother, Jeff, asked me for my address tonight via Facebook. he's going to be interning and needs my address as a sibling. Glory be, I pray it's not political because we're probably about as far as the east is from the west politically, but I gave it to him. I have no problem. Poor guy... my legacy with twenty-something continues LOL.
Speaking of twenty-somethings. We got the older kids' insurance stuff straightened out. This is a good thing. Now they need to use it. I talked to them both today and they sounded okay. Betha is gripey, but such is Beth. Erich's Erich.. but such is Erich. I pray, I pray.. but such is me.
Tomorrow's goals. Be prepared for winter weather. As much as possible. Bake something from scratch. I'd like to make a batch of cold process soap. We'll see :-) Good night and God Bless

Mercy, mercy

Trying to get to feeling better here and it's slow going! I'm not happy about it either. Today it was the big bad headache again and it gets so depressing. I'm going to go ahead and email the doc in Little Rock and talk to her about this; I don't like the over top side effects.
Today was a pretty day outside today. I have a chick order ready to go. I'm ready to begin spring. Next week will be a big week for us. Ginger takes her ACT and after that I want her to switch over to work on her GED stuff, get that taken care of and have it done. Then, she'll be through with homeschool. Wow.. that's very overwhelming in so many ways. She's wanting to build a big garden and have a big summer. I'm willing to let her do all of that. We'll lose money in May which is okay, we can deal. We'll figure it out. Not quite sure how, but we will :)  I think that we're going to be able to start managing our $$ better, once again, I'm not sure how, but we've started working on it. This week I'm going to sit down and go through all of the receipts and see where the money is being spent. I would really like to get my soap business off the ground. I can make the soap, I can design the bars and work with the batches, but as far as the web site, the selling, I'm kind of stuck.

Okay, off that topic, it's too late at night and I've got to rest. Let's see. Tomorrow we have to go to town. Probably the library, DG, and maybe CV's.. whoo hooo. Not really looking forward to it, but it needs to be done. I'm going to work on a menu thingy for next week too, this week it went very well. Ginger did an awesome job in keeping up with things. Breakfasts were wonderful and every night supper has been outstanding. I'm spoiled. I need to do more cooking with the slow cooker and try to do my own cooking and let the kids clean up, because next year it's going to be Elijah and I having to do the majority of the chores on the days Rob works when Ging is at school. She's going to have to buckle down and do it. She'll do great though. I just have to get my stuff together so I can keep up with half of the stuff that she does around here!

Well after this weekend I'll be milking for us again. I am stoked about that :) Sadie's finally milking milk now. But there's no way under heaven that I'm drinking anything that came off of that milk stand!!! Elijah Daniel is cleaning that stand.. with a shovel, then the pressure washer! Rob said that he'll complete the sides so the stupid chickens can't get in. I'm all for a ton of chickens, but hello.. get out of my milk shed! I'm fairly certain Sherry's going to kid, probably Izzy too, and possibly Jesse and Sassy. Then I have to work on breeding for next year... but that'll work out too. Right now, I'm just happy to about to have real milk again! And cheese.. yummmmmm. Milk and cheese! I want to learn how to make mozzarella this year and I'd also like to learn to make ricotta. .. yummmmmmm :)

Goals for tomorrow. Grocery, blah :).. pictures.. I know, I know.. ongoing goal. FEEL BETTER!!!!!!

Trying to stay awake

Well I'm going to try to stay awake to write tonight's entry.. I think I'll be able to do it since I've had my dose of St John's Wort tincture.. that will make you pick up and take notice of anything and leave a bad taste in your mouth for a while too. I also had some ever popular minced garlic and honey. I skipped the elderberry cordial tonight, but had about all of the home remedy I could take :)
Not a whole bunch has gone on here today. It has been better than yesterday, praise the Lord. My head is still hurting, but not quite as bad, I'm dizzy and dingy, but that can be said for me most of the time. I stayed up all day, whooo weeeee. LOL, I'll be glad when that's just a given.
I've got to figure out how to get pictures on here. Once I do that I'll invite people to start reading my blog and connecting with me. I'll do more with soap and such. I cut into my new shampoo bar tonight. It's not quite cured out, but oh heavens, it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful. My hair is 10 times softer than it was last night. and a lot less frizzy. I can't wait until it cures out. I have a lot of experimenting to do and I can't wait. I'd like to take pictures and post them on here, maybe do an Insanity Soaps blog, who knows. I'd like to do some step by step pictorials on soaping, because it's fun :)

Other news. I was messing around on FB (where else) and saw that Jeff (my half - bro) has a blog now. He's exploring different options for career choices in the military. I'm happy for him. I think it's awesome that he's doing all sorts of research and exploration into career choices. Smart move. Something that many Strohsahl's aren't known for. We tend to jump in and then baffle 'em with bull stuff. I began reading his blog from the beginning (he's got like three or four entries.. not too big of a feat) and it turns out that he's mortally afraid or offended by the TEA party. Hmmmm.. Kind of strange. It's the party I most affiliate myself with. I can't have a 'get your issues together and quit trying to take over mine' party, so the TEA party works. The Constitution works.. it's a neat little document, Anyhow, Jeff is afraid of us.. or offended by us.Hmmmm... go figure.
Well getting tired now, going to go to sleep before I crash on the computer!

Okay, that's what happens when you fall asleep at the computer

So I'll finish up my last night's post now :) I was tired last night. I'm tired now. Treatment was Monday. It knocked me for a loop. And the whole week has been kind of a hard one. The baby goats died in the cold Thursday and that was very sad. I hate it when I do something stupid, like think that somehow, someway Sadie should've kept them warm. Occasionally it happens, most of the time it doesn't. I should've taken them away from her and fed them on the bottle, should've, could've, would've... those things happen. I've kicked myself black and blue. Blech.
Then Saturday morning we found out that Barb's husband passed away. Another strange thing. I wouldn't know Barb if I passed by her on the street. But online, I know her. She's a member of the hscl group. I don't hear from her much, but I pray for her often. Her kids, her job, her mom, her life. I *know* her. And her beloved passed away, suddenly. Without too much notice. That scared me. That something like that could happen, out of the blue. Mercy. Mercy. And what a helpless feeling it is. I'm stuck out here, feeling like I need to *do* something, but there's nothing to do, expect pray.. and that's putting the saying to the test that prayer is the key. It feels insignificant in many ways though. I want to *do* Make a loaf of bread, take a casserole, give a hug, open a door.. do something, anything. To help. But just to pray.. that seems so little. But when I started to pray I felt it. I felt HIM, I felt the Lord taking my prayers and wrapping it around this woman and her kids that I wouldn't know from Adam if I crossed by them at Wal-Mart. I felt HIM. And in HIM there is everything. He's so much more. I pray that Barb can feel HIM right now, I pray that during these dark, lonely days that I have no inkling about, but can only glimpse through covered eyes (because I dare not even glance that hard at my own mortality or my husband's mortality).. I pray that Barb and her kids can feel HIM right now and feel His comforting touch the way I felt my prayers leave me the other day.
Then, Matt, my 5th kid, Erich's best friend.. the other half of dumb and dumber. Is being sent to a hot spot in Afghanistan. That weighs heavily on my heart, so so heavily on my heart. This kid is such a special kid. He's a goof ball. A nut, a bozo. I half way expect at some point he may be a son-in-law, though I have no idea which of my daughter's would marry their brother because that is what he amounts to. He's always been around. He's been Erich's best friend since we moved up here 13 years ago. He walked into Marvin Elementary school and met Matt and Denver. Matt has stuck around forever. And Matt asked me for prayer.. whoa.. who.. me?!?!?! prayer.. why??? Why me?? But no, me. Okay.. So I asked him if he was right with the Lord, he had to go. That scares me. So I'm praying and praying and praying. And I'll not cease. I'm finally growing into a woman of prayer. Scary. Scary.

Like I said. Treatment was Monday. It bit.. badly, still biting .. badly. Yesterday the headache was so bad I couldn't leave my room. Today my arm is super swollen.. my head hurts, but not horribly bad.. hydrocodone bad, but not horribly, horribly. Can't think really good at all, can't deal with loud noises. Praying this upping the treatment is worth it. Cause if it isn't I don't know what's going to happen.. As I'm listening to a song saying "My Help Come From the Lord" Amen and Amen.

So with that, I'll close for a bit, I may be back later tonight.. who knows :) I'll try not to fall asleep on my blog again, bad form I know LOL

Been a rough few days

It's been a rough couple of days here. None of it really in my control, but I know Who controls the seas and Who controls what happens here on this earth. And my trust is in the Lord Jesus who is my strength, my shield, and my fortress. He is my ever present help in time of trouble and in time of need, and in time of joy. Jesus Christ is my Lord in every situation,

So, with that being said. We lost our baby goats last Thursday night:( major bummer.They froze to death, That was sad. Very very sad, Then found out   a frend's hubby passed away :(

And I wrote a ton more and it got lost.. grrrr. I'm going to end this and go to sleep.

It snowed again!

And guess what... Sadie kidded!!!! We knew it would happen and yup, it did. She had a beautiful doeling that looks exactly like Sebastian and a buckling that looks exactly like his mama. They're cute and healthy and Sadie is being a good mama.. so I'm happy. And in 2 weeks we'll start milking and have fresh milk!!! Yipppeeeee!!!!
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I let the kids go to band by themselves  because I had  been feeling cruddy and I didn't want to crash out and have to go home early. So, off they went. I ended up feeling half-way decent (praise the Lord!) and made a batch of soap.
I can't wait to try it, I went ahead and hot processed it, even though I'm not as wild about the hot processed soap colors. I love the light color of the goat's milk cold process soap. Hot process makes the soap darker, between the oils cooking and the milk cooking more past the lye, it just makes the bar darker. I honestly like the feeling of the bar better. I am going to make a batch of soap with the exact same recipe using cold process and see if there's a dramatic difference, but I honestly think part of the smoothness will be because of the hot process. I'm going to have to experiment some more (awww shucks) Anyhow, this shampoo bar I made yesterday I'm super excited to try out. It's a 3 lb recipe, I don't have the recipe right in front of me, so I won't even attempt to type it out just in case I ever get followers on this. I needed to post pictures of it to. The ingredients I used were different from my 'normal' oils. I used calendula infused olive oil, sesame oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, 3 oz of beeswax and jojoba oil. I also used some rosemary mint fragrance oil. Man it smells awesome. I can't wait to try it. It was awesome to mix up. It literally traced in about 2 minutes, so I didn't turn the crockpot on low, I just turned it on warm and it was ready in about an hour and a half, well within the 'normal' range of hot process. It's a tad lighter than some of the other hot process soaps I made during Christmas too. I've got to get rid of some of the soap I have in the back room before I experiment too much more though! I have a couple of ideas, I may email a couple of ppl and see if they want to buy a few bars for 2 dollars a bar as an introductory type thingy. I don't know. Gotta think.
But yesterday was a pretty good day. For the most part. I did a couple of loads of laundry. And tried watering. Then fell, hard. And it hurt. Still hurts. But I'm okay. Tried to wrestle the hose and the hose won. Felt foolish. Those things happen. Today has been okay too. Did more laundry. Goal is to get it all done before Monday. Also have bathroom cleaned before Monday and email to Great Lakes before Monday. Rob was able to get to work tonight. That's the goals for this weekend. There's another storm supposed to hit Sunday. I pray it hits Sunday day. I really want the treatment. I love church and want to be at church. But really want to go ahead with the treatment.
Well it's almost 1 am.. I'm tired and Loki is wanting to go to bed, so I think I'll quit.

It's midnight Cinderella

Well actually 12:30ish... and the leg cramps are hitting hard. But such is life. These things happen. Treatment day is Monday. I'm ready. But I'm glad it's being held off until then so Rob can get his workweek in. It's an 8 day check, we need that. We need to get bills caught up. He might be working an extra day next week, which would be awesome, two 8 day checks in a row, which would mean we could order chicks!
I'm ready for spring, ready for chicks, kids.. kids.. kids!!! If Sadie and Sherry don't kid soon I'm going to go nuts! I miss kids! But Rob and I are talking about re-vamping our hen population and adding some more pullets. I want some sweet pretty chickens, so I'm thinking of ordering 10 buff orphingtons and he wants egg laying machines, so it'll be 10 rhodeisland reds or production reds.
Today was kind of a low-key day. I couldn't wake up again. It's going to be kind of hard until I get the treatment on-board. Then I'll start to feeling better. I get tired of having to build my life around things, but so be. It'll work. I have a date when I start to get to feeling better.Tomorrow is band for the kids. I am seeing if Connie can come and visit with Elijah while Ginger does cello. If she can, I'm staying home. I can do that. I'll throw something in the crockpot and allow myself to veg. That is allowable. If she can't, we'll figure it out from there. I'm not going to have them miss another week.
We also have snow predicted for Thursday.. probably when Sadie'll kid. Sigh.. go figure. Well it's now 1 am.. I'm feeling sleepy from the meds, so I think I'll go to sleep.

Another fairly productive day

Kinda cool.. had things that we had to do and actually got them done. Works for me. Got kid to band, went and did the pig food run (always fun and exciting,) went to the Asian Market and got oils, went to Aldi's and got food, and went to old fashion foods and got some clay stuff for soap and some apple cider vinegar and jojoba oil for soap (found out it's pronounced hohoba.. if you're going to pronounce it with an h.. use an h when spelling with it.. makes sense to me) Then came home, unloaded everything and cooked supper. Had a Mexican feast of tostadas and tacos.. really good. filled them with refried black beans, had some sausage that we added to it. Rob made some guacamole and it was fabulous. Really good. Then the kids and Rob watched Superman Returns.. good day, good night.

tomorrow I'm going to make some hot process shampoo bars with the jojoba oil. I'll post that recipe. I've got to figure out the camera thingy too. Sadie's going to kid on me and I won't have a camera to show off. Heavens :) What's a goat lady got to do??

Sunday

We had a beautiful day today. Church was great. I'm loving this Sunday school thing. I'm really loving our church. I'm learning so much and really feel like it's where the Lord has led us. A good feeling. Not comfortable all of the time, but I don't expect that anymore. I don't need to be patted on the head and told what a good little girl I'm being, I need to be challenged and not necessarily confronted, that's the wrong word, but guided.. I've lost the right word tonight.. from the pulpit. Church doesn't need to always be comfortable. Today it was good and I can't wait to get strength together to get started working with the young'uns That will be a blessing and a definite challenge.

Then we came home and moved cows. Rob is convinced my horses are spawns of satan.. we go through this every winter. His cow gets skinny because my fat horses won't let her eat. My fat horses probably don't let anyone eat. We need to put more hay down there than we do, but I can't say anything right at this moment. His cow is skinny. And that stupid calf is still nursing. I think that's a big part of why she's not gaining, but .. well .. my fat horses... But we got her and the calf up here. Almost got Callie moved up too. That's the other cow. She looks good. But she was also being a toad. So she is now a funny looking horse that's hanging with Sonny, my big fat paint horse. When Rob went down there she was sharing a bale of hay with him. We have 4 cows and a bull.. three wild unsociable cows; Gladys, Callie, and Coco (Gladys and Coco are the mother/daughter team that moved up here now and are in the emu pen terrorizing the poor emu) and then we have Daphne, the sweet, beautiful, brown eyed strange looking goat that lives in the goat pen... she's a holstein calf. Actually she has been off her feed a bit the past couple of days. We've been starting to wean her off her bottle and I think we need to put her back on it with straight goat's milk to get her gut back in order.

Speaking of goats.. no babies. Sigh. I'm ready for babies. Andi thinks that Sadie may have twins.. that would be so, so awesome. I'm not wild about the buck that I had. He was a lamancha cross and kind of a brat. Heavy built, but short.  Sades is big and long enough to compensate for it, so I'm hoping for a couple of doelings out of her. That would rock. Andi thinks Sher is also bred, but may only be carrying a singleton, wouldn't surprise me. Same with Izzy, Iz is a first freshener, so that's what I expect. I don't really think that Jesse is pregnant, but if she is, I only expect one out of her too. She's not sure about Sassy. I don't think that she's pregnant and if she isn't, I think I'm going to end up selling her. I've had her out there with three bucks and she hasn't taken with any of them :(

Well the dogs are being obnoxious. and I have to clean out the shower before I can take a shower. I used some deep conditioner the other night, olive oil, and it made the bottom of the shower super slippery; so I have to clean it off before I take a shower. Then I gotta hit the bed. Tomorrow's band day. I'm ready :)

Wow, it's been a few days

It's been a few days since I've been here! Not a whole bunch going on. Still in molasses land from no treatment. Went in Friday and the doc decided that we're going to up the dose of cytoxan (heck of a name for a chemo isn't it?? cytoxan.. we will now be placing cy toxan in your system.. this is to make you feel better.. just fills a person with all sorts of warm fuzzies.. NOT.. but so be, it works and I'm not complaining.. but do wish they could find a different name for the stuff.. something like 'knock the socks off your immune system".. "REBOOT".. or something to that effect.. Ended up not taking the kids to band Wednesday. Held down the couch and slept with the dogs.. blech. This too shall pass. But back to the doc visit Friday. Since they are upping the dose of cytoxan, they have to give another med to protect my bladder. Cytoxan isn't bladder friendly and causes burns and such.. not nice. So instead of a 2 hr treatment, it's a 5 hour treatment, which meant that I needed to come back. And that means I get to go back Wednesday.. yea.. I'm thrilled.. Not.. Wondering how we're going to manage all of this because I don't have anyone to take care of Elijah, nor to take him to band on Wednesday. And Rob is working. We'll figure it out, we always do. I am going to see if I can wait until next Monday (the 24th) and go then.. might as well go for broke and take forever and a day to get treatment.. SIGH.

So that covers that. I'm still in molasses land. But making it. Yesterday was Rob's and my anniversary (just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out the correct tense to put that in.. who cares.. my blog, y'all get what I mean.. I speak and I type Southern.. no one is following me, therefore no one has to read this.. therefore no one has to deal with it .. LOL)  But anyhow, we've been married 8 years. And what a blessed 8 years it's been. Tremendous blessings. Trials too, but so many blessings.My knight in shining aluminum. And the best couch-holder-downer around .. he's doing that now. He worked all night Thursday night, took me to the doc Friday, came home went to sleep about 3, slept on and off until about 8, went back to sleep at 10 and woke up at 5 this morning. Then couldn't go back to sleep. So now he's crashed on the couch. I figure he'll be up and at'em ready for church in the am, driving us all nutso, but that's okay. He's good at it.

Today my good buddy Andi came out to look at a couple of places around here. It would be so awesome if she and her brood moved out this way. My oh my.. could we all get into some trouble.. well not trouble, but glory be, we'd have a lot of food put up, animals hatched out, milked, butchered. She's a baking fool. She also does herbal things out the wazoo. She's not that comfortable canning. But man alive that woman can make anything grow. Anything. And she's a whiz at making something from nothing. Things that I have to get better at. I can can and put up things and make soap.. that's my claim to fame, period. that's it. That's all she wrote. I can also crochet.. whoo hooo.. not a whole bunch. But she and her hubby are the real deal. They do it all. I have a lot of respect for them both and love them dearly.

Well tomorrow is church day, I need a shower and go to bed. Gotta get up and get to Sunday school What a blessing it is to get to go to Sunday school.

It's getting better

Well, it's Wednesday.. technically, actually early Wednesday. Friday I get treatment, I'm in that countdown thingy. I really am. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Rant over.. done :)..
Today was slightly productive. 9 quarts and 4 pints of beans canned. yippeee. Something accomplished. Woke up to a tree down in the goat yard. Somewhat disconcerting, but it wasn't really that big of a deal. Rob'll have to cut down some more trees in the goat yard, there are quite a few dead, which is a bummer, but we'll have some cedar posts.
Tomorrow is music. Praying that I wake up feeling okay and it's not too frigid. I've got to have the energy to go. I need to work on the YCME directory, but don't see it happening in the am. But it might, who knows :).
Going to be cold, cold here tonight.

SNOW!!!!!

It snowed here this afternoon. And the world has stopped. I love living in Arkansas. I've lived here since I was a teenager, so I can't drive in the white stuff either, but remember that people really can drive in it and remember as a child that snow shouldn't be a major deal. In Arkansas it is. It really is. Two snowflakes hit the road and schools start closing for the next day. We have major tornadoes that slam this area with more frequency than I'm comfortable with, last year the national weather service decided that it wouldn't be a severe thunderstorm unless the winds were over 58 miles an hour (vs 50).. hail over an inch, lots and lots of lightening. In other words a big bad sucker that's fixing to drop a tornado on us.. I live in tornado alley.. let the wind blow over 40  and one air mass cross another air mass and we have super cells trucking down the highway and the Tiv parked over in OK (I'm in the hills, they don't like chase in the hills.. hard to see the tornadoes and hard to get good pictures. understandable!) BUTTTTTTTT... it snows a drop.. we get WINTER STORM WARNINGS left and right all over the place, 5 news storm coverage, team storm coverage.. Garrett rolls up his sleeves (there's a Facebook page thingy "when Garrett rolls up his sleeves the sh*t's gonna hit the fan"... yes, I'm one of the many fans) Anyhow, we have about 3/4 of an inch. The roads are bad, Ginger doesn't have band tomorrow. Rob is supposed to go to work tomorrow night, but we'll have to see tomorrow.

This weekend has been pretty good. I haven't accomplished much. Rob has gotten a lot done. He's gotten all of the lard and tallow done. Over 4 gallons all told. I've really got to find a good soap recipe to use the tallow in. It's so pretty. I've got to get it together this week. I need to get the YCME directory done, it shouldnt' take me too long once I get it going. I'd like to have it ready for Wednesday. Friday is treatment day. I'm ready, so ready.

So, this week, I'd like to get some potatoes canned, some beans canned. Probably do that on Tuesday. Wednesday is band. Thursday I'd like to do a batch of cold process soap and wrap it up for Friday. I'd also like to load up some photo software and start posting pictures to this thing :)

Today was church and I've just kind of been blah since then. We did manage to make it Sunday school, and my oh my, God is so faithful. So so faithful. The truck overheated and it looks like one of the hoses was frozen.. but nothing was cracked or broken.. and he added water (and antifreeze) to it and we got to church at 10:12. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked. And so happy :) Talked to the Pastor and after I get through this chemo stuff, I'll start teaching the middle aged kidlets (8-12 or something like that) I'm excited. The Lord has really laid it on my heart to *do* something, to be a servant unto Him and I"m ready for this. Also spoke to Pastor about some prison/jail ministry. I feel that's a place where we're being led too. It's that bit of excitement growing again.

Preparing Against the Cold

Ugh.. it's January.. and it's going to get cold. And being as we're on a farm type place we had to get ready for it. Today was very pretty. Elijah was in a mood, Rob was in a mood, I was in a mood, Ging was in a mood.. But we got a lot done. Set out hay for the horses. And my oh my, it was absolutely glorious. Skies as blue as only an Arkansas sky can be in the middle of a dry winter. The wind was blowing hard, the horses were crazy, crazy. But they were happy, and now they're fed and checked on. Everyone is fine. It's a relief to only have the 8 we have now. I can't believe that at one point we had 28 horses and a burro. Now we have 7.5 horses (Petey is a mini) and 2 burros and the three cows in the back pasture. We have the 6 goats, 2 calves, 3 real pigs, 2 piglets, 2 pot belly pigs, and emu up here.. along with the chickens, geese, ducks. It's still an enormous amount of animals, but it's a workable number. I do need to get some more animals for the homestead, but I don't want to think about it right now.

Well the hubs done good today. He conquered the lard. He rendered down all of the pig fat from the last pig we had processed. Albeit it was a smelly process. And one that I had to leave the kitchen for about mid-way through, but I am now the proud owner of a coffee can, 2 quarts, a butter dish, and a pint of lard. I will be soaping with it. Our neighbor had a cow processed and brought us the beef fat today. Tomorrow Rob is going to be rendering that down for me. Now do you see why I love him and I'm so spoiled :) He would've done it tonight, but my stupid head was splitting. Same neighbor also gave us some steak.. nice neighbor. We have been blessed, very blessed today. I really can't wait to try to make some soap with beef tallow, I've heard that makes some really nice soap. I'm getting antsy to want to make some soaps again.

Well I forgot what my 'to-do' list was for today.. but I don't think I accomplished it. I know that we stayed fairly busy and we got stuff done. I was able to help Rob a bit, which was nice. We've gotten most of the stuff done to be ready for the cold snap. I checked on the ladies, no one looks like they're about to pop right away. No one is bagged up or acting weird, so I think we're okay.. I pray. I would like for them to wait a week or so now, but goats will be goats. We have everything to put the light up in the milking shed and Rob said he might do that tomorrow if he feels up to it. He's still not feeling really great and I'm not going to push him. We'll see what happens. All I know is that I'm tired now and since I didn't sleep that well last night, I'm going to give it a good shot tonight :), Good night and God Bless!!

Progress!!!!

Today has been a day of progress. I got a lot of minor things done.. yippeeee! Things that needed to be done. Now I'm exhausted. I did email the pastor. We'll see what he says. I put it out, if he feels the same, great, if not, great. I don't know if the Lord really wants me teaching middle grade kids. I have one of them at home.

Now, another thing.. how this blog is going. Do I want to keep it rambling unto myself. For now, probably. As time goes on I think I'll make it more of a farm journal, soaper type thing. I need something for me at the moment.  Got the calendula oils done last night. Some in olive oil for soap, hopefully I'll do some of that this week end, to mainly see how it cures in the cold. Then I got some in grapeseed oil for us to use as hand cream and such. I'd like to figure out how to make some lotion and such using calendula That's about to be on the forefront. Goat's milk lotion. It's going to take a bit of money to get started, so it'll be a few weeks, but I'd like to get some going using some of the herbal things I know. Today I made some salve, it was interesting. I screwed up somewhere because it's a little too thick; I have a question for Andi to see if I can soften it up, or do I just heat it up everytime I need it. Either way it's good stuff. Smells fantastic. Used a pound of beeswax in it.. absolutely glorious. I'd love to have more beeswax and make some lip balm and stuff.. I'd really, love, love, love to have bees, but being allergic to them, I don't think that would be a good idea.

Also got some stock done today. 5 quarts done. Rob tells me now that he thinks the stuffing was still in the bird.. ah well.. it's had the crap boiled out of it now and strained and reboiled and strained.. and pressured. It's safe. May taste a little 'interesting' but hey a lot of our food tastes 'interesting'.. which is why we can't replicate it often.

Tomorrow I need to email the student loan ppl and see if we can start figuring out why they can't seem to figure out that yes, I am still disabled and it's not getting any better. I really dislike dealing with that. But I have to do it and while Rob's in a bad mood because he's sick with a sinus infection (and didn't listen to me about all the herbs I told him to take.. he took some, not all.. which is why it didn't go into bronchitis,) I might as well just allow myself to be in a bad mood too and deal with them. So I'll email them and start that argument and mail them more stuff if they'll give me an address this time and hopefully that'll take care of student loan ppl. Tell you what, if they'll make the MonSter go away, I'll go to work and happily pay off the student loans.. I'd be happy to do that. I'd be a drug/alcohol counselor or  a caseworker and I'd pay on my loans happily. But.. it's not something that student loans can do, so I'll deal with that by starting the email process tomorrow (sorry I sound bitter)

Today has been a MonSter day. I'm ready for treatment. I don't like getting chemo, I really don't. It makes me feel lousy, I puke.. everyone loves to puke.. NOT. But I woke up this morning with a numb spot on my tongue. Come on now.. this one is new. One small spot on my tongue that is numb. It has driven me up the wall all day long. I have gone to the bathroom mirror to look at it a dozen times, nothing's wrong with it.. it's just numb. I've also had the MonSter hug.. hugs are great.. MonSter hugs aren't.. it's like from right under my arms to just above my belly button is in a vise. a nice tight vise. that squeezes every so often. Not comfy.. And the ever present headache.. 8 days away.. just 8 days away. I'm ready.

Other plans for tomorrow. Getting ready for the cold snap. Gotta get hay out in the back, lots of hay out. Get hay up here too. I'd like to have a couple of bags of shavings ready just in case we have kids. And some wood cut up. I'd also like to have all the waterers cleaned out and filled. Maybe that'll happen. I'd like to can up some potatoes this weekend while I have the canner out. Lots to do, praying for energy!!!!

On that merry note, going to head to bed!

I still can't find my way here LOL

Well I still can't find my way here and I don't know how to post pictures on here, but that's cool. I have yet to figure out how to put pictures on this computer. So.. I do what I can do and I get here how I get here. At least I comment on Andi's blog.. let's hope she keeps writing, so I can keep finding my way here from her blog LOL.

Today hasn't been horrible. Still feel blah, blah, blah. But seeing as it's almost about 5 months post treatment, I expect it. Haven't weird pains in my neck though which kind of bugs me that I'm not mentioning, but will if they get too outlandish. Seeing is also a little funky, but I expect that. I'm supposed to get treatments every four months to knock my immune system down into submission; but because of the holidays that got messed up and then Rob had to go to work the day, so now it's going to be a week from Friday, the 14th. That's Rob's and my official anniversary; the day we got married 8 years ago, though we moved in together 13 years ago New Year's Eve. Either way I'm blessed beyond measure, but the blessings truly flowed when we married. Going back to the main point.. that's probably not going to be a real great anniversary date night for us; but ah well, we're old :) we'll be crazy at some other time, when we have money..we'll be broke anyhow.

Didnt' get a whole bunch done today, slept a lot, tried to stay awake... stayed in here, which is a good thing. Slept on the couch with the dog :) Made up some minced garlic and honey. My family will love me. It's pathetic to see how little I actually do. I helped Elijah with his school, he and I are so bored with workbooks. We did our Bible reading, that's cool, we like that. But beyond that.. I feel like the Peanuts teacher whaw whaw wahw whaw...  and I know he feels the same way. he's doing good.. but we're bored. It's not frigid cold outside, but it's cool enough not to really want to be outside. And next week it's supposed to be frigid.  My goaties will probably all kid next week.. I pray that the kids live. I can put them in the milking shed that is all closed in now, but I'll need to get a couple of bags of shavings and such for emergency use. I want healthy goaties and healthy kids on the ground.. quickly :) Christmas is over, I'm ready for spring now please. And to feel better now, please. Works for me :)

Tomorrow Rob's home for his four nights home. I'll be glad. He's got to go to the doc in the am to get his thyroid checked and stuff, then he'll be home and we've got a ton of running around to do. And who knows what else. I really want to get everything set up to start writing down every cent we spend starting with the next paycheck. I think that'll help us begin to budget as scary as that sounds. I'm scared of it, but it's got to happen. We're going to make it happen and it'll be good.

Now, tomorrow's goals. Going to email Pastor Philip and ask him about teaching the middle school kids and see if they're still needing a teacher and if they are, volunteer (did I really say that?!?!!?), work on finding a unit study that will work for my kid and me, clean the bathroom, email the student loan ppl. Tonight I'm going to go do the calendula oil. I'll do the sjw tomorrow too.

Sugar Bowl Wasn't So Sweet :(

Ahhhh well, another bowl game for the Arkansas Razorbacks. We, as Razorback fans, have great expectations every summer, generally we see our expectations dashed by the end of September; this year has been a perfectly awesome year (with the exception of a couple of 2 games we don't talk about) we had an awesome season. It was a great year to be a Hawg fan. Bowls aren't the Razorback's strong suit, never have been for a long time, not since the hayday of the Hogs. Tonight started off rocky; by half-time I was ready to come in here and look for cooking tv shows featuring pork recipes. Then it started picking up. End result, we did lose, but it was a close game. Arkansas showed Ohio to be feared, very feared of wild hawgs :) And maybe Mallet will hang out 1 more year to win a big bowl to really up his ante for the pros.. yeah right, but hey I can dream can't I :)

And now, upward and onward to today's report. Well, I did manage to stay up most of today... yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa.. and the crowd roars. I'm still having a dickens of a time trying to find my blog to write in it. It's not just a job, it's an adventure :) Rob says living in my world must be kind of fun sometimes. We went to town today. I need to get some St John's Wort oil infusion started, I'm going to make some in grapeseed oil for bruises etc; for around here, then some in olive oil for soaps. Same with calendula. I'd like to get that started tomorrow. Along with the turkey. Those are tomorrow's goals. Get the oils started, start the turkey boiling for stock, clean it all up and be done :)

Problems Already

Okay.. I can't figure out how to get back here LOL. Ah well.. for the moment I'll go through via a friend's blog and get back here. Felt like poo the pasts couple of days which is always a fabby way to start off the new year.. NOT. But this too shall pass. Rob's feeling horrible too, but he can't hang out and sleep like I can and I feel so guilty about that. So, so guilty. He shouldn't have to go to work feeling like crap, when I've been able to sleep most of the day and all night too. Sigh. He should be able to take off too. He shouldn't have to carry all of this on his back, but he has to.

And the whine is over.. I mean it :) I get sick of myself quite often!! I've got some good ideas going for the soap business. I'd like to get a batch done tomorrow. Cold process will be the way to go I think, the bar is a lot harder, it's lighter in color and just feels better. It doesn't smell as much though. I'm going to play with it a bit and see if I can make some better. I really want to have a hundred or so bars made up for the beginning of spring to take to the flea market in Ft Smith. We'll have some baby pigs for sale then and I'd like to take them there too. I also have a recipe or two for lotion and I'd like to price some out to see if it's feasible to make. I'd like to make it and sell it along with the soaps for the Insanity Acres label. I have some ideas for a website.

I'd like to make a cutesy website for my soaps showcasing the farm because it is beautiful using the ladies as a big part of the website because it is with their milk that I am using to make the soaps. It's about to be spring and the babies will be hitting the ground and so will fresh milk! Man, I'm looking forward to that! I use frozen milk for gm soap, but I drink goat's milk and make cheese with it and I miss that a bunch! I'm also planning on rendering the lard from the pig we had butchered last fall and I'll be using that lard in the soaps I use lard in. I wonder if putting pictures of them and stating that the lard I use in the soap is also from the farm would be a selling point or not? hmm, something to think about. I really want to learn to market and sell the items I can make from my homestead.

Elijah and I did our Bible reading tonight. He was going to skip it because he wanted to play with legos, I decided to go with him and I'm glad I did. I really am praying that God continues to fill me with this desire to stay close to Him by reading His Word daily.

All in all a decent day.. gotta get better tomorrow. Going to crochet now.

wow.. there's a learning curve here

Wowsers.. there's a learning curve here. The one and only time I tried to blog was on the now defunct 360 thingy that was around a long time ago. I got frustrated with it when it went through one of its many upgrades and lost me, so I quit. But it's been a while. and .. well it's been a while.
But there are things that I'm starting this year that I need accountability with. Things I don't want my Beloved harping on me or heaven forbid the children. Because if the children harp on me that gets dangerous. Very dangerous. The 18 yr old really wants to be my mother.. but, that position is already taken, even though I've been taking care of my mom forever (for Christmas I sent her a food basket with instructions on how to cook it... she's 70 years old and just moved in with her boyfriend.. it's very hard to be a Conservative daughter of a wild and crazy hippy mother! (Mom, if you ever read this, I apologize.. I love you, I wish you and Tom would get married and make it legal.. but I know you gotta do what you gotta do)... anyhow I'm rambling again. The 18 yo wants to mother me. If the 7 yo even attempts to tell me what to do I'm going to seriously consider allowing him to go live in the goat shed like he's been wanting to.

So there are things I want to be held accountable with. 1) I'm going to read through the Bible in a year. I've done this before, quite a few times actually. What I generally do is start off with a bang and go wonderfully, then slack off, get way behind, then spend a day and read the Bible all day long and get caught up and then finish. I don't want to do that this year. I want to spend each and every day spending a set amount of time reading God's Word. My Beloved gave me a Bible for Christmas, a large print one, that I can read and not have to read on the computer and I'm tickled to death about it. So I need to just read and mark it off.
2) I want to get my soap stuff going. I can make soap, now I need to get off my tushie and market it and actually sell it. That is now a goal. I also want to make some lotion and other stuff to sell too. We are going to have a cut in income in May, we've got to get some $$ coming in.
3) not panic over the Bear going to college. I fuss and complain about the kid, but I adore her. I gotta work on letting go
4) stockpiling and learning to stockpile more
5) can and dry bunches more stuff

Now that I'm completely overwhelmed I will quit. I also want to write more. I need to write again and just let it out. I'm hiding out and that's not good for me. I may even let a few ppl know that I'm writing this.. maybe.. maybe not :).. who knows